


as the night passes (i'll get over you... or not)

by hongpikachu



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-11 00:38:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10451115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hongpikachu/pseuds/hongpikachu
Summary: “If I become a firefly, how long do you think I’d last?”





	

**Author's Note:**

> song: IU - Through the Night | a fanfic dedicated to my favorite cheolsoo enthusiast, xiao

 

_Tonight, I’ll send the glow of a firefly  
To somewhere near your window_

“Hey, Cheol, have you heard of the legend of the fireflies?”

 

The said male takes a look at the source of the gentle and soothing voice. And even in the dim lighting, he can see perfectly well the outline that he’s probably memorized after staring at him whenever the other isn’t looking. His features were illuminated by the yellow lights hidden underneath the bushes along with tiny flying balls of light. He can’t help but smile when he sees one land on the other’s nose.

 

“I haven’t yet, Shua. What’s it about?” This time he reaches for one of the tiny floating balls of light, feeling a sense of accomplishment in himself when it landed on his extended fingertip.

“You see, Cheollie, they said that when people die, they’ll have another chance to spend time on earth longer as fireflies’ until their loved ones finally let them go.”

 

Seungcheol takes a look at Joshua, whose gaze was still on the fireflies that surround him. His smile was filled with so much innocence that he couldn’t believe that he’d be on his mid-twenties. But at the back of his mind he thanks the rest of their co-workers who are too engrossed in their drunken stupor to find that there are two less people in the rest house.

 

“Cheollie-ah?”

 

The nickname always sets a million fireworks inside the pit of Seungcheol’s stomach, exploding at the highest peak of his chest as he feels the rush of electricity all over his limbs and fingertips that he swears he can feel his knees literally go weak at Joshua’s innocent demeanor. This time he feels a handful more fireworks, setting off faster and harder than the ones before, when his eyes meet Joshua’s. Even in the dark he could see the glimmer and if the fireflies and stars could have a sense of shame they’d probably be cowering at the moment because, heavens help him, his eyes just shine brighter, more beautifully, than anything in the dark.

 

“If I become a firefly, how long do you think I’d last?”

 

  
_I remember our first kiss_  
_I close my eyes whenever I can_  
_And go to the farthest place_

 

Joshua wasn’t that much a fan of intimate body contact on a first date, so he was surprised with himself when he actually tolerated, no, liked the way his hand fits perfectly and snugly on Seungcheol.’s warm palm when the latter walked him home after their first date.

 

Their hands were just as contrasting as their personalities. Gentle, soft-spoken Joshua had hands with long, slender, and calloused fingers, probably from all the guitar playing he does whenever he’s bored. Meanwhile the outgoing and boisterous Seungcheol had a large, smooth, yet really (for a lack of better term,) manly hands. Needless to say, it fit so unexpectedly well that neither of them wanted to let go when they finally arrived in front of the gates of Joshua’s house.

 

“I had fun today. Thank you, Cheollie.”

 

“I had fun today too, Shua. So uh, yeah, good night. I’ll see you tomorrow at work.”

 

And it happened too fast – just an innocent peck, a very short contact of the lips. It wasn’t as remarkable as the long liplocks in movies, but it didn’t matter. It was short, yet chaste and sweet and well-intended and just right that it fit the moment.

 

Both of them came home and stared up at their respective ceilings that night, playing the first kiss in their heads over and over until they fell asleep.

 

\--

 

Even until now, whenever he experiences that first few minutes of consciousness while lying in his bed, he recalls the kiss that happened on that eventful day.

 

 _Just like the letters on the sand_  
_To where the waves were_  
_I feel you’ll slowly disappear_  
_To a far off place_

 

Somehow, three years seem too short of a time for the two of them. Their relationship wasn’t that of all butterflies and rainbows, but somehow they managed to rent an apartment together, got promoted in their jobs, and even managed to snag a few overseas vacation here and there.

 

So when Seungcheol woke up to find a letter in place of his boyfriend one winter morning, he feels like the heart that dropped on his stomach weighs a ton or more. And although he fears of what he’d find in the letter, his curiosity still gets the best of him so he manages to open it with trembling fingers.

 

_Dearest Seungcheol,_   
   
_First of all, please don’t think that I have left you forever. This is not a suicide note so don’t freak out too much or get sad._   
   
_Okay, so, I’m sure that you’re wondering why you woke up with this instead of me. I apologize for the sudden disappearance. You see, for the past few months, I’ve had recurring headaches that get worse and worse every single time. You know about it, right? And you told me to go get a checkup and I went to the doctor one day, you remember that too, right? I got the results after two days but I decided to tell you that it was just stress. I’m sorry I lied to you about it, Cheollie. At this moment, I booked a flight to LA to meet with my mom’s recommended specialist. I’ll be staying here for two weeks at most. I already filed a leave from work and I asked them not to tell you because I want to tell you myself, I really do, but I’m really scared to see your sad face. Please text me when you’ve read the letter, I don’t want to lose contact with you while I’m here. I’ll miss you too much._   
   
    _\- Joshua_   
   
He gapes at the piece of paper before him as if the letters came to life and danced on it. He doesn’t really know what he’s actually feeling at the moment. There’s the light simmer of anger, and then came the anxiety that what if his boyfriend got a fatal disease or something that not even a specialist could help, come in the sadness and loneliness of waking up to two weeks with an empty space next to him on the bed. But in the middle of his pessimism, there lies the hope that two weeks will get shortened and Joshua will be back in his arms again in no time.

 

 **Seungcheol:** Yo Joshieboo I just woke up and read the letter.I miss you already, come home soon okay? :’[

 

It wasn’t until late that night when Seungcheol received a reply that eased his long-drawn anxiety that built up from waiting an entire day.

 

 **Joshua:** Cheollieeeeee, I was about to go to bed here since mom told me to rest up. She says hi to you by the way :]

 

 **Seungcheol:** Hello future mother-in-law~ ㅋㅋㅋ I hope the headaches go away soonest so you’d stop hurting

 

 **Joshua:** It’ll be gone soon, God has a plan for me and I trust him :D Good evening there Cheollie~ I’ll go ahead and sleep, alright?

 

 **Seungcheol:** Sleep tight there, my Joshieboo~

 

Joshua decided to put off the message for the next day, when he’s rested well, though without the guarantee of his headache ceasing.

 

_I always miss you_

 

The day after, Seungcheol received just one text from Joshua, which doesn’t seem to put his heart at ease.

 

 **Joshua:** Cheollie-ah, they’ll run a series of tests for me today, so I might not be able to reply immediately. Don’t stay up too late ok? I love you~

  
_I miss you again_

 

It’s been three days since he’s last heard from Joshua. He doesn’t want to think about it, but he expects for the worst.

  
_I miss you more_

 

It wasn’t after a week and two days when he received another message. When he woke up, he can’t believe the letters that flash on his screen along with an unread message notification. And like a child who just got an exciting Christmas gift from Santa, he doesn’t hesitate to read the message with utmost enthusiasm.

 

 **Joshua:** Cheollie ahhhh the operation was a success and I’m gonna be home in two days! Will you pick me up on the airport? ^^

 

 **Seungcheol:** Of course~ I’d be happy to see my dear boyfriend again!

 

And just like that, the texting resumed as if nothing happened.

 

 _How can I be so lucky_  
_to have met you, who is a blessing_  
_If we’re together now_  
_Ah, how great it would be_

The said two days have passed and now Seungcheol stands with a small crowd on the international arrivals area of the airport. He makes sure to bring a bouquet of yellow tulips in a sea of paper signs with names written on them. One by one the passengers soon arrive, however he doesn’t see Joshua in the crowds that have emerged from the gate.

 

However, he kept on waiting, thinking of all the things he would do once his boyfriend comes back in his arms. All he wants is to see the smile, hear the laughter, and feel the warmth of the person who was gone by two weeks (which seems like forever).

 

Six hours have passed and he’s seen a few crowds come and go. Joshua was late by three hours since his promised time, but he hopes that the flight has just been delayed.

 

It wasn.t until he sees a uniformed man emerge from the gates with a megaphone on his hand, murmuring out something to the crowd. Usually he wouldn’t pay attention, but his sense of hearing caught on the details of Joshua’s flight and he immediately rushed towards the said man, along with a few other passengers who have been waiting as long as him.

 

He doesn’t need to stay in there for long when he hears the words “engine failure”, “middle of the ocean” and “no found survivors”. However, he stays a little longer to give out his information, with just a little hope in him that he’d find Joshua and have him in his arms again.

 

All he had to do was believe.

_All the words in my heart_   
_All the letters in my diary_   
_I can’t show them all to you_

_But it's..._

 

Seungcheol sits by his window to watch the sight outside blankly, eyes not really focused on anything particular. He took the courtesy of sending a message across Joshua’s family back in LA with regards to the unfortunate news. The day went by agonizingly slow ever since the news broke to him.

 

He sees the faint view of the city lights with an umbrella of stars above. The scent of the yellow tulips laid on his desk started to faint, but the scent is still there somehow. There was grief in his heart and soul, especially when he’s been looking forward to seeing him once again after the agony of distance. But today he realizes that not everyone is given a chance.

 

Out of the blue, he drags the blank sheet of paper close to him, together with a pen, and started to scribble out words that he would have wanted to say to Joshua when he was here. And in the vast area of the paper, he can only occupy the center of it, with three tiny letters, and nothing more.

 

_“I love you.”_

 

He wants to think he’s hallucinating when he sees a little glowing ball on the tip of his pen.

 

 _Tonight, I’ll send the glow of a firefly_  
_To somewhere near your window_  
 _I hope it’s a good dream._

 

The seasons have come and gone, and not a day goes by in Seungcheol’s life when he doesn’t see a single firefly in his lifetime.

 

Later that night, he dreams the scene from six years ago, the same night he gathered up the courage to confess to Joshua.

 

\--

 

“If I become a firefly, how long do you think I’d last?”

 

He doesn’t understand where all this comes from, but knowing Joshua, he knows better than to ask. And knowing his heart, he knows better than to let a moment like this pass by.

 

“I’m sorry, Shua. I think you’ll stay forever in this world because of me.”

 


End file.
